Terrible Two: what it is and tips for dealing with this phase

If your child’s behavior has changed drastically and you feel exhausted and don’t know what to do, it’s likely Terrible Two has arrived there.

Tantrums all the time, nothing seems to please him, and that calm baby now messes and screams all day long. Believe it or not, this happens in the best families.

Although it is a challenging phase, knowing the typical behaviors of this development peak is essential to dealing with the situation.

For this reason, in today’s material we will look at the signs of the Terrible Two and tips for dealing with it. Continue reading to check it out.

Terrible Two: understand the “baby adolescence” phase

If during your pregnancy you made countless plans regarding your child’s education, and swore that he would never throw a tantrum, come here. All mothers believe this while the baby is still in the oven.

The baby is born, the nights of sleep go away, the challenges with a newborn are not easy. But everything still seems under control, after all, there is nothing cuter and more loving.

But, one day things change, and the cute and curious baby starts to acquire challenging behaviors: screams, tantrums, bad moods. What happened?

I’m sorry to say, but these are clear signs of the arrival of the famous 2-year crisis, known as the “Terrible Two”.

Although the name is drastic, the 2-year-old crisis is known for being highly challenging for both parents and children.

This phase is also called by experts “baby adolescence”, as it represents a developmental milestone that generates instability in the child’s behavior.

At this point in life, the child begins to discover that he is an independent being, and that he has his own will. The only thing this little being doesn’t know is that his wishes are not laws, and it makes him cry with every controversy he experiences.

In general, this phase begins around 1 year and 6 months, and can last up to 3 years. Some parents say this is the most challenging time of raising children, as nothing seems to please them and controlling the child’s nervous impulses is very difficult.

Is the Terrible Two a problem in education? Do all children go through the phase?

First of all, it is important to understand that Terrible Two is not caused by noise in education, although the environment and parental preparation can reduce the impacts.

As we explained, this phase occurs due to the child’s brain development, which results in emotional outbursts and difficulty in understanding social limits.

This phase manifests itself in different ways in children. Some suffer more, while others go through it in a way that their parents don’t even notice.

Just like adults, children also have their own personalities, so strong-willed and outgoing children may display more challenging behaviors during the 2-year crisis.

But, if your child seems impossible and your friend is always calm, don’t worry: although their behaviors are different, all children go through this phase.

Next we will know the signs of the Terrible Two. This will help us understand why some children throw tantrums and others don’t, even though both go through an age crisis.

6 Signs Your Child is Experiencing the Terrible Two

Upon reaching the Terrible Two phase, many parents report that it seems like only their children are defiant. The children on the playground seem calm, why is he the only one screaming and throwing himself on the ground?

Although emotional imbalances are notable at this stage, the 2-year-old crisis manifests itself differently in each child.

Maybe the child on the playground doesn’t throw a tantrum, but, on the other hand, he refuses to eat and refuses to obey at home. Below we will see the typical signs of the phase, so that you understand this.

1. Crying incessantly and for no reason 

Before the Terrible Two, your baby only cried because of hunger, sleep, or a dirty diaper. When the problems were resolved, the crying stopped, but now that has changed.

In the 2-year-old crisis, everything is a reason to cry, and sometimes there isn’t even a reason: the child starts crying, you don’t know what to do, and nothing makes him stop.

2. Tantrums and intolerance to “no”

Only anyone who has ever said “no” to a 2-year-old child knows the damage it can cause. In Terrible Two, the kids simply won’t accept no. 

Asking them not to hang from the living room curtain seems pointless. The child ignores you and continues doing it. If you try to take it off, prepare for a show.

3. Changes in appetite and food selectivity 

We know your baby used to eat everything, and now, in the Terrible Two phase, he only eats what he wants, and sometimes refuses entire meals. Yes, that’s a typical sign.

Children often develop food selectivity as a way of asserting their autonomy: they want to decide what they eat and how much they eat.

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4. Requests at all times 

Do you feel chased around the house? Does your child always seem to be after you asking for something? Typical of the Terrible Two. 

“I want water” (but doesn’t drink the water), “I want that toy on the shelf” (in 1 minute he will drop it on the floor of the house), “Give me attention” (yes, it is not even possible to go to the bathroom unaccompanied, he always wants to come along and do everything with you). 

2-year-olds are experts at asking for things all the time. If you’ve been feeling like a butler, know that all parents feel this way at this stage.

5. Sleep changes 

In Terrible Two, it is common for children to experience changes in their sleep: they start sleeping less, waking up more often during the night, or even refusing to sleep.

This occurs because the brain is very active, which makes it difficult to remain calm enough to sleep.

6. Opposition: the child always seems to be against you 

Some parents feel lost in the Terrible Two because they notice that nothing they say or do seems to make sense to their child.

You choose one outfit, she wants another. Makes pasta for dinner, she decides she wants potatoes. Ask him to come to you, the child doesn’t even seem to hear you and goes further away.

This is part of the autonomy we talked about earlier. It takes a lot of patience to deal with these refusals and to be able to direct the child against their own will.

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How to deal with the Terrible Two?

If you’ve come to this material without knowing for sure that your child is experiencing the Terrible Two, chances are you’ve already convinced yourself by now. But how to deal?

It really is a difficult phase, but there are some tips that can help. See below?

Keep Calm 

Although tantrums arouse negative feelings in parents, it is important that you try to remain calm at this stage.

Reacting negatively to your child’s behavior will only make the situation worse, as you will become stressed and your child will become even more emotionally dysregulated.

Remember that you are an adult, and you need to show your child the correct way to act when faced with negative emotions. Yelling at her will only reinforce the behavior.

Understand that behaviors are not caused by outdated education 

Many fathers and mothers tend to blame themselves when the age of 2 arrives. “Did I fail in my education?”, “Could I have done it differently?”, “Am I educating him without limits?”. 

Remain calm and understand that the 2-year crisis occurs regardless of the education provided. Avoid blaming yourself; instead, look for ways to reduce your child’s outbursts.

Seek to welcome the child and direct him 

Tantrums caused by the 2-year-old crisis occur due to the immaturity of the brain to deal with emotional outbursts. Try to welcome the child, as it is very difficult for them to deal with negative feelings.

After welcoming, direct the child to the right behavior, thus allowing him to learn how to deal with these moments.

Avoid guesses and criticism 

All parents don’t need in the Terrible Two phase is guesses and criticism. Avoid people who keep saying it’s your fault, or that you should educate better.

This only brings frustration and can make you try to stop the behaviors at all costs, just to prove yourself competent in education.

Remember that you are your child’s safe haven, and you must guarantee him security and stability so that he can go through this phase without trauma and with valuable lessons for the future.

In any case, we recommend that you have a lot of patience and try to see this phase as temporary. Things will work out, so focus on directing your child to the right behaviors, no matter how difficult it may be. Over time he will learn.

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